Where have we been? or; Kill me at Burning Man

Long time since a blog post. There is a good reason for that – life has been a mad crush for us all. Each day is remarkable in that the banality is at such a frenzied pace that mere survival is the story.

Today Leah was either at school, engrossed in studies, or hanging with the ladies blowing off steam in The Bachelor fashion. I was up too late last night post Super Bowl (I guess yay Saints, but really, fuck the Saints. My wounds are still fresh from the NFC Championship game) and I woke up earlier than I wanted, but later than Leah wanted. Before I can get my sea legs I’m attempting breakfast alchemy, juggling in making coffee so I can see straight, occasionally punctured with a baby that needs to go the hell back to bed. Oh and now Leah needs to go okay bye Leah, oh wait does the dog need to go out? Leah wait DOES THE DOG NEED TO GO OUT? Yes, okay, I guess so. Okay, take the dog out. Wait, shit… does the dog need food? Call Leah… okay cool don’t answer, well whatever go ahead, Nunu feed the dog. There’s Leah on the phone.. okay the roads are shit? Okay cool, I guess we have to get dressed and up and out the door. Nunu go get your boots. Chloë do you have all of yours stuff? God damn I have to wake this baby up don’t I. Nunu go get your boots, you can get your backpack after… NUNU BOOTS BOOTS NUNU BOOTS thank you. Chloë I don’t know where your gloves are, where did you leave them? NUNU BOOOOOOTS. Okay are we ready? Chloë are you sure you have your stuff? What about your lunch, this lunch that’s on the stovetop. Okay, yeah grab that. Let’s go, in the car come on we have to go.

Everybody’s mad about getting into car seats. I drive, Xavier is just pissed about life now. Okay Chloë do good work have a nice day. Okay. no Nunu we’re not going to school ugh, come on man. We’ll watch some nice Thomas when we get home.

Okay this baby needs to go back to sleep now. Whoops that was the last of the breastmilk, okay, time to mix up a batch of formula. What do you know Xavier will now spend the entire day not eating and not sleeping and just being pissed. Rex-Goliath will spend the rest of the day not napping, even though he’ll be a beast later in the evening and make everyone miserable.

Oh my God this house is trashed and I have two kids that haven’t napped and are yelling and I have to get back in the car already to get Chloë from school.

Spend your evening trying to perform dinner alchemy whilst juggling a baby that needs to go the hell back to bed and a boy that would rather poop his pants and trash his room than nap and is now making everybody pay for it.

Everyone get in the bath. Let’s at least pretend this isn’t the worst life. Sweet god look at this kitchen well fuck it, that’s a tomorrow problem. I need to get up in the middle of the night oh kill me now. Okay kids, come on. Let’s do this. Okay, scrub that little baby with the broccoli in his hair. The rest of you too, you’re all good – all clean, and you’re yawning, and you’re cracking jokes, and you’re taking the bottle finally and you’re asleep. Okay give me a kiss, give me a hug. I love you so much and it breaks my heart every single day and there’s nothing I can do. This life is a goddamned killer and I would have it a thousand times over.

So this is what’s new.

Good luck.

– Mr. Wonderful

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5 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    carl said,

    who needs a job when you’ve got home dad!

  2. 3

    Christina Kocholek said,

    Do I dare have more children? lol

  3. 4

    Anonymous said,

    Oh noes… is this where I should say something like “you will look back on these days with love, laughter and be grateful that its all over…but kinda wanna do it again?”


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